Conflicted

Happy Friday, Beautiful People.

6f167f3c-a7d0-4fe5-a603-4f47bc6b3f52

Third Ward, MKE.

 Mason had a sleepover with his Munka and Bumpa last night. When Jeremy got home from work he, Charmaine, and I stopped at Gille’s Custard Stand and ordered all the fried things. We spent the night playing Betrayal at House on the Hill  with Jason. We have all recently gotten into playing unique board games, such as Tokaido, Oddville, and Exploding Kittens. It’s very possible that these games could be played all night long if you let it happen. It is quite imperative that I get back on something that even slightly resembles a sleep schedule, because while I used to think that 9pm was late, I can’t make myself go to sleep before midnight lately. Of course, Mason still wakes up at the same time every morning, therefore I am tired all. The. Time. Even without a full time job, there do not seem to be enough hours in the day for everything I want to accomplish. Sigh.

I headed to the Third Ward this morning for coffee and retail therapy (ahemm…Anthropologie). I continue to go back and forth on the job front; on one hand, I miss all of the social aspects that go along with a full time job: the coworkers who quickly become friends, the nights out, the camaraderie. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying this unplanned time off. I am very thankful for all of the extra time I am spending with Mason, and learning more about who I am as an individual, but there are good days and there are bad days, as with anything in life. Sometimes, I can’t believe how much work consumed me, and other days I sit in my living room with cold coffee wishing I could bash my head against a wall and scream at the top of my lungs because Mason doesn’t know how to talk or play at a decibel any lower than elephant stampede. As with everything else I contemplate publicly in this blog, I don’t want to sugar coat it. I am not a very good stay-at-home-mom. I don’t have that kind of patience. I’m too antsy and energetic. I am a worker. I need the self-gratification that success in the workplace brings. I am hoping that when classes begin in 2 weeks, I will have a similar satisfaction.

I have submitted my resume to a few different companies with job openings that fit what I would be looking for, but every time I end up sitting back and questioning if I would even be happy in that position. You guys, I am genuinely going insane. I actually googled “Should I be a doctor” because I had a physical earlier this week and my doctor is so upbeat and happy, and her attitude is contagious. Of course, after reading one article I quickly came back down to Earth. HELL NO, I don’t want to be a doctor. I like to help people, but it takes a certain kind of heart to DEDICATE their lives to helping people. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I don’t think I am capable of that. Again, just being honest.

So what am I capable of? I like to create and be a leader and communicate and be the center of attention. I think I would shrivel up and die if I was put behind a desk for 8 hours a day. What can I do that would make me happy? Not sure that the answer will be easily found. I would love nothing more than to open an antique shop (it has been my dream for years), but it is simply not feasible in this stage of life to do so. Or perhaps it’s that I simply lack the faith it takes to make it a reality. I suppose that is something that no one but myself can decide.

Well, here we are at the end of another work week. I hope you all have a splendid Friday night!

xo

To run or to drink coffee?!

Cheers to the Freakin’ Weekend!

In keeping with my goals for this year, I decided to check out a new place this morning (52 List Project goal!) while Mason is in preschool: Colectivo on Prospect Avenue on the East side of Milwaukee. When I crave coffee I typically stop at Colectivo on KK Avenue, but this place is very cozy as well.

eea78521-5f6f-4dbd-81b0-918ce9e892a0

SEE?! 🙂

Yesterday Jeremy and I got fitted for new running shoes. It’s now or never (another 52 List Project goal). After trying on many different stability styles (I tend to overpronate quite badly when running or even walking), I settled on Nike Air Zoom Odyssey’s (here). I went down into the basement this morning to start my training on the treadmill, but it is folded up in a corner of the utility room (which illustrates pretty accurately how often we have used it) and no matter how hard I pulled I could not get it to fold down. So I unlaced my new kicks and got coffee instead. Pretty even if you ask me 😉

I am going to be using the Couch to 5K app to train. I am not the type of person who can just get out there and gauge my endurance on my own- I need direction. I have used this app before while we were living in Greendale, and got about halfway through it before the weather became bitterly cold and I was honestly too big of a wuss to run in it. I feel that this is the perfect time to start- when it is cold yet mild, and Spring will be here before we know it.

In other news, I was a bit conflicted the last few days. I spent the better portion of Wednesday and Thursday afternoon perfecting my resume and applying for all the administrative jobs I could find that remotely interested me, but my heart wasn’t in it. It’s not that I don’t miss the workforce because I do, but I am very nervous about making the wrong decision when it comes to my next job. I don’t want to job-hop. I want to be stable and work somewhere I can be valued and use my individual talents to the best of my ability. Somewhere that I can grow to love the way I loved Iron Block. It sounds dramatic, but it’s true. I have so much to give and I don’t want to waste it. Now that I understand how much a job can truly mean to me, I am going to find it hard to top it. Sigh. Stream of consciousness…

I hope everyone has a fantastic day!

xo

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

I took off today. I finally cleaned the last of the mess in the kitchen from our 4th of July celebration.

Don’t judge me.

Anyway, after Mason’s bath, Liz Holtz and Charmaine joined Mason and I for one of our favorite Mommy-Has-A-Day-Off activities: spending time at the library. We usually rotate between 2 libraries- Greenfield and Central- and we decided on Central today since they aren’t as busy on early Friday afternoons, and also because they recently updated the entryway of the children’s center to a Where the Wild Things Are theme.

Liz, Charmaine, and I talked while Mason played with the train table and climbed the lighthouse. Being that he is a creature of habit, he enjoys consistency in the books we read at bedtime. That is my nice way of saying that we read the same. Damn. Books. Every. Night. For about 2 months. Sometimes 3. And then we switch. For the past month, the choices have been Bob the Builder and the Machine Team, A Book of Bedtime Prayers, Curious George and the Puppies, and Only One You.

So I gladly marched up to the counter with Mason to check out The Very Hungry Caterpillar, If you Give a Mouse a Cookie, and Gerald Mc Boing Boing. Yes. Variety. Pinch me.

After the library, we stopped at Grandpa’s store and had Subway for lunch. I cannot believe that after 18 years of friendship, Liz had never been to Grandpa’s store! Talk about an oversight on my part. I was all walking around like she knew where we were going, and when I asked her if she had ever been upstairs, she goes, “Rachel…I’ve never been here at all.” Needless to say, I was happy to show her around!

Charmaine and I had a mini yoga session while Mason napped. Today we focused on balance. It’s not until you try some of the (common) poses that you realize what terrible balance (not to mention horrible coordination) you possess. Yikes. But seriously, I feel wonderful afterwards. If anyone is looking for a yoga app, I HIGHLY recommend Yoga Studio. The sessions are guided with relaxing music and a woman on the screen demonstrating. Everything is organized by level of difficulty, and then broken down by area of focus: sun salutations, balance, strength, meditation, relaxation, yoga for runners, yoga for back pain, etc. Love it!!!

Now we wait for Daddy to get home. xo

little lovelies

Happy Sunday All!

I hope everyone had a stress-free weekend! I took a personal day on Friday, and my sister Charmaine and I took Mason to the central library in downtown MKE. It is hands down my favorite library in the city, and the craziest part about it is how it has not changed a bit since my mom used to take my sisters and I there on weekday afternoons. The children’s room is way rad; not only is it filled to the brim with books but there is elevated window seating with pillows, a puppet theater, a lego table, a wooden Thomas the Train set (similar to the one Mason has at home) and a lighthouse that little ones can climb up and overlook the room. And all the preschool moms said “amen”.

After a morning at the gym, my sisters and I spent the majority of the day yesterday preparing for Mason’s birthday party, which is taking place this evening. We have plenty of balloons and Thomas the Train decorations to go around! And a 1/2 sheet chocolate cake. I’m not sure which excites me more: the cake, or the limes and ginger beer in the fridge ready to be made into delicious moscow mules. Or perhaps I am most excited for the crazy karaoke-ing tonight?? I’m getting off topic 🙂

Below are my picks from the past week for the “little lovelies” list. Enjoy!

  • Anthropologie is a death trap for my wallet. Plain and simple. Come on now with this cat jewelry dish.
  • I am a sucker for leather. My favorite pieces would be my leather leggings and bomber jacket, but I would love to add this dress to the list. It is edgy and feminine.
  • This is a gorgeous ring!
  • I am on a quest. A quest to drink more water. Strawberry, lime, and cucumber flavored water sounds amazing!

Have a great afternoon, friends! xo