You Can Keep These, 2014

photo (3)This post is to spite the crabby mood I was in yesterday morning.

I would like to preface this post by saying that there will be no “Frozen” references, as I’m sure anyone who has seen the movie as many times as I have, most likely saw the above picture and thought “Oh, greeeeeeaaaatttt.”. No worries. I am as sick of it as you are, I promise.

I am simply tired of baggage. Perhaps not baggage in the typical context (relationshp baggage, etc), but as it relates to negative thoughts, mistakes, and ways of life. Anyway, back to yesterday morning. I hate how easy it has become for me to speak with an attitude or fall into a moody funk. I have already written about things I will strive for in 2015, below are some things I have decided to leave in the past:

  • Negativity- I have been guilty of starting days off on the wrong foot just by having a negative outlook on it. I find that I’m most likely to be negative when I am overwhelmed. It’s time for me to start viewing the glass half full!
  • Guilt- A while back I had written in a journal entry that I did not feel worthy of any good things that came my way. Of course, this was after I had made some terrible life choices, and then hurt quite a few people on my quest to make it all right again. I suppose we could also use the term Regret here as well because I still do regret some of the ways I handled things back then. I felt that even if every single person I had wronged had forgiven me, I still would never be able to forgive me. There are days where I think to myself, “Was that even me?!? Did any of that even happen?!” but that’s the beauty of growth, isn’t it? We all live and learn, and second chances are a beautiful thing.
  • Caring what other people think- This is a biggie for me. I have come a long way over the years as far as not letting others dictate who I should be. But I think it is human nature to care what people think of you, and for me this rings especially true being in the position I am at work. People look to me for direction, advice, permission, and guidance, and I need to have more faith that I am where I am because of hard work and a good head on my shoulders, not because all people thought all “good” things of me at all times. I heard a quote once, although I don’t remember where: “You wouldn’t care so much what people thought of you if you realized how much they actually think of you.” Wise words, folks.
  • Working-Mommy Syndrome- WHAT?!?! You have a child/ren and you WORK OUTSIDE OF THE HOME FULL TIME?! What. A. Concept. Sarcasm, maybe, but as women, it is not unheard of to feel ashamed of yourself for having a full time job (whether necessary or not) and not being more “available” to your kids. Everywhere you look there are mixed signals: articles tell you how your children will be “emotionally scarred and carry it with them through adulthood” if they feel “neglected” during their most crucial years, alongside articles telling you to “own your womanhood” and “take a break from the kids”. Oh, shut up. Isn’t it time we stopped taking every single thing we read at face value and have a little faith that what works for the family is actually working for the family?! I am confident that one day, Mason will not look me in the eye and say “Hey, Mom?? Remember all those years you worked to help support our family and sent me to a school with a Christian education and taught me the value of money, and were able to buy me all the things I wanted and needed, and took me on fun outings?? Yeah… I wish you NEVER would have done that.”  He just isn’t going to say that. This is where I am in life right now, and I am going to own it!
  • Procrastination- Carpe Diem, peeps!!! When tomorrow does come, I will have wished I had accomplished *insert book not read, walk not taken, DIY projects abandoned* when I had the time! Not to be confused with time spent clearing my mind or meditating, I am talking about all the things I could be doing when I am sitting pondering all the things that need to be done.

I hope I’ve inspired you to leave toxic feelings and habits in the past! What do you hope to change?

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
― Mother Teresa

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